I was sitting at dinner with an acquaintance. We were on a break from a business transformation retreat and just squeezing in a few more bites before heading back in. Out of nowhere, or so it seemed to me, she says, “You know, you are ‘half-fairy’, right?”
My brain stopped. What? Did I hear her correctly?
“Um, I am not sure what you mean. I’m what?” I sputtered out. Over the next hours I grappled with this and what she could have possibly meant and then when to ask a good friend. A person I was sure would say, “Oh, that’s silly” and everything would be right in my world again. But no, that friend replied, “Of course. Didn’t you know?”
Grinding halt, number 2. I asked Google. My friend reassured me. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk in the morning.” Ok, so for now I was just to sit on this idea and try to sleep.
In the morning, I found my friend first. She introduced me to two more people who could explain what all this supernatural talk meant.
Why did all of this fairy talk bother me so much?
For the past year I had been enrolled in an advanced business coaching course. How I saw myself was shifting. For the longest time, I had put others before me. Others’ dreams before my own and I had left my work to the very last moment of the day. I would send emails after the kids went to bed and wouldn’t take work that conflicted with my family’s needs. But all of that was starting to shift. From the outside, all was well and my business was growing. But on the inside, I was still putting myself and my work last.
When I heard the words, “half-fairy”, what I REALLY heard was ‘You are special.” “You are unique.” It was seeing something in me that I didn’t see for myself. I signed on with Business Reiki Master Victoria Whitfield and asked her all the questions that I didn’t understand about this fairy-business. But in the end, the work we did (and continue to do) centered around my own self-worth.
An Opportunity to Connect
As I have been working on the Creating Momentum Book, I have been asking what I could share that would make the biggest difference for you and I received this response:
“I am someone who has big goals and big dreams, but I keep getting pulled into distractions and losing focus on daily habits and such that would help me to be able to accomplish things other than basic mom stuff. I have stepped back into entrepreneurial ship and I'm hoping to pursue real estate investment in the future.”
I immediately saw myself in her words. I saw myself before the fairy revelation. I had big hopes and dreams, too! I kept getting distracted! I couldn’t form habits! I couldn’t accomplish anything beyond the basic mom stuff! I thought, at the time, that I was doing my family a favor to put their needs first. But the reality was that I was denying all the gifts that had been given to me. I was refusing to use them. I was operating on empty.
The Way Out
For me, the way forward began when I reconnected with myself and my dreams. Not just saying, “I hope to one day be a world renowned organizing and productivity consultant,” but actually acting like I already was one. It took seeing the Vision for myself and then acting in small ways as if it were already, true. From here, life become more and more joyful as I came back into alignment with the gifts I had been given.
Just for kicks, this summer, during my branding photoshoot with Ale B I had photos taken of myself dressed and positioned as the Archangel Jophiel. A further extension of seeing myself in this bigger, more special, more unique way. I’ve never shared them before. But for you….
Last night, I was watching X-2: X-Men United with my children. If you are not familiar, X-Men is a comic based on the idea that there are people among us, mutants, with special abilities. They can walk through walls, freeze water, control fire, access people’s thoughts, etc. The comic has been made into at least nine movies over the years.
In one scene, Nightcrawler, a mutant with the ability to teleport, was speaking to Storm, a mutant with the ability to control the weather. Nightcrawler, who has a strong sense of faith, was surprised at Storm’s deep anger. He asked her about it and she responded that this anger has helped her survive.
I wondered in that moment. What do we hold on to that helps us survive but not live? So often, we have beliefs, habits, behaviors that keep us “safe” but prevent us from experiencing life and learning. Thankfully, for Storm, she would have the opportunity to learn that faith can also help you survive.
Nightcrawler could teleport anywhere he could SEE.
Nightcrawler’s power was limited to teleporting where he could see, with his eyes (or so he believed). When you are looking to move forward, to access somewhere you have never been, you need to be able to SEE where you are going. This is your VISION. Before you can move, you must be able to see where you are going.
If he couldn’t see where he was going, he could end up in a wall.
He warned he fellow X-Men that if he couldn’t see where he was going he could end up teleporting into a wall. If you do not take the time to visualize where you are going, you will end up in a wall. You will end up STUCK and unable to move forward. Have you experience this? Have you attempted to move forward without first SEEING where you are going and found yourself stuck in a wall?
Your EYES are not the only way that you see.
Later in the movie, Nightcrawler was asked to teleport to a place he could not see and save the leader of the X-Men. Without Nightcrawler the leader would perish. Failure was not an option.
Nightcrawler was limited by his belief that his eyes were required for vision. We are often like Nightcrawler thinking that we need to SEE results with our eyes in order to move forward. We think that we need to see the process in order to act on it. How often are we limited by this?
It also takes BELIEF.
Nightcrawler was wary and Storm, having experienced Nightcrawler’s faith, returned to him the gift and said, “I have faith in you.” She believed in him and his ability to teleport to a destination he could not see with his eyes.
Belief was the missing piece. Once Nightcrawler believed that he could see where he was going, he didn’t need to actually see his destination with his eyes. He successfully teleported into a room beyond a massive door and back out again, rescuing the leader. All (almost) was well. Nightcrawler’s ability had grown. I imagine if this were a video game he had just ‘leveled up’.
What are your limiting beliefs?
What is limiting you from moving to your next level? Do you think you do not have enough time? Do you feel like you need more knowledge? Do you think that a certain number of clients are required? Do you think you have to do it all by yourself? What is keeping you trapped moving only to places you can see?
What can you learn from Nightcrawler?
1 - Teleportation to places beyond where you are right now, requires VISION.
2 - BELIEF in yourself fills in for all that you can’t yet see.
Which one of these is the sticking point for you?
Register now for “How to Rock Your Time and Skyrocket Your Business,” a free masterclass available for a limited time! [Details here]
I met today with another fantastic fabulous CEO who graciously agreed to an interview. She was the 15th one and all of these will become part of my forthcoming book, Creating Momentum. Her interview was brilliant! I cannot wait to share it with you. (if you want a sneak peek of hers and the other 19 interviews, you can join 90 Days to Success!)
I went into this interview believing that she would talk about Vision and I was not disappointed. She hit the vision nail on the head. She laughed when I asked which of the 9 principles she thought she embodied the most. Vision was the obvious answer. BUT, as every one of my interviewees has shared and confirmed, each of the 9 principles is absolutely necessary. They create a blueprint.
It starts with Vision, Mission and Core Values & Culture. But quickly you move to the tools that are necessary to implement the first three. And those tools are time & task management, systems and organization. In the end, you also need strengths, connection and focus to truly create a sustainably successful business. All great businesses have all 9 principles.
Organization ensures that you are consistently making decisions and clearing the clutter. Things are where you say they are and everyone knows where to find them. Your work space is conducive to getting the job done.
Systems allow you to create consistent, repeatable processes that make your time more efficient, ensure your customers are getting the best possible service and that you can share the job of running the business. You cannot do it all!
Time & Task Management means you you know you are picking the right task for any given moment. You are working with your brain and your body so that you can be efficient with your time and work. You have space for the activities that will grow your business and that you are not always putting out fires.
No matter what, every decision is made based on your Vision, Mission and Core Values. But, with only those three you will be a flash in the pan, a one hit wonder. You need organize, systems and time & task management for implementation of your vision over the long haul.
However, if you start using your tools before you have your vision, mission and core values clarified, you will, as my interviewee today shared, quickly run out of fuel because you have no direction. Be sure to go back to this post to learn how to create your Where, What and Who and then take the next step to use your tools to create momentum.
If you need more, be sure to catch the replay of the masterclass by joining the Facebook Group: Create Momentum. I make an offer to go even deeper through the program 90 Days to Success. You can find out more and take advantage of early bird member pricing ($97). I’ll be hosting the next 9 Principles to Sustainable Success on October 26 at noon EST. Don’t miss it. The link to register is here.
My ‘friend’ is often overwhelmed with what task to do first? There is so much to do that I, ‘she’, feels sometimes like just pulling up to a bowl of ice cream instead. What would you suggest my "friend" do?
-- Ice Cream is my Superpower
Dear Ice Cream is My Superpower,
“To Do’s” can be daunting and you just hit the nail on the head with the task of handling the mail. I have personally been acquainted with many who would leave the task of opening the mail for months or even years! If your to-do list has gotten out of control, pulling up to a bowl of ice cream does seem like it would be your best bet! And, I am completely serious about this.The first step is to put yourself in a better mindset whether that is ice cream, going for a walk, dancing, writing in your journal or doing 5-10 minutes of a task that you absolutely love.
If you have handled your mindset, then step two is to understand your vision for the work you are doing. It may seem silly to create your vision when you are talking about checking the mail or running errands with your kids or handling miscellaneous tasks at work. But when you know why you are doing the work you are doing and you keep this ‘why’ in front of you then you can ensure that you are always doing the right task at the right time.
If you envision a life with a roof over your head, fun events with friends, engagement in your community, then opening the mail will help you achieve these goals and you will be more inclined to go through the mail measuring what you are opening against it’s ability to help you achieve your vision. If it doesn’t, then TOSS!
Once you have a to-do list a mile long it is likely the case a portion (maybe even a large portion) is no longer relevant. Step three is to cull your to do list. Remove anything that is past due (and cannot be completed) or no longer relevant. Then decide for each item if and how it helps you achieve your vision. Last, decide if you need to be the one to complete the task or if you can delegate, outsource or automate the item.
Step 4, grab yourself another bowl of ice cream. As you said, it’s your superpower!
Today's post comes to you from Vanessa Judelman, of Mosaic People Development. Enjoy!
I want to tell you about my client whom I call “mama bear”. She is a lovely, warm and kind person. She has so many great leadership qualities.She really cares about her team and their success.She creates great opportunities for team building. She is always there to coach and mentor her team.
The problem is that “mama bear” feels like she needs to take care of everyone. She feels like she needs to solve all of their problems. This means that “mama bear” is totally over worked and overwhelmed. She also has become a bottle neck as all decisions are currently being filtered through her.
While “mama bear” is doing so many things right, there are some critical things that she needs to change to be more successful as a leader. To start, she needs to recognize the ways in which her behavior is hindering her team and holding them back. I explained to “mama bear” that she needs to let go and start letting people solve their own problems. She had an “aha” moment and told me, “Vanessa, I thought I was helping my team but realize now that I was not allowing them to be independent.”
Through our conversation, I shifted “mama bear’s” perspective from a model of “leader takes care of it all” to a “shared leadership” model.
If you recognize yourself in “mama bear”, it is time for some shifts. Here is what the shared leadership model means:
Even if you already implement some aspects of the shared leadership model, think about the ways in which you tend to exert too much control. It could be over a system, process, structure or meeting for example. Consider how you can give your team more ownership over their goals and projects. Finally, consider what you can do to practice even more of a shared leadership model.
Vanessa Judelman, founder and CEO of Mosaic People Development, is a sought-after author, coach and facilitator. She has helped thousands of people to become more self-aware, confident leaders.
Vanessa is the author of the book "Mastering Leadership: What it Takes to Lead in Today’s Fast Paced World." She is noted as an expert in her industry and has been published and quoted in The Globe and Mail, the National Post and is a contributor to CKNW Radio. Vanessa is passionate about developing leaders who have the tools they need to be happy and productive.
Hi! I'm Nettie Owens, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization and Productivity Consultant.